Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
