Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
