My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
