question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Acid is not a monday night drug
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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