idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
