How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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