Well douche your snatch and let's go!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
