who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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