just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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