im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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