idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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