Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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