you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
