Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
