If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
