In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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