i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
