I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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