You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
