But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize