the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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