it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
