capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
