Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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