Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
should my penis look like a turkey
How's work?
Spinning.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
