How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
