literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
