White coat. Heels.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
