i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
