when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
