don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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