Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
