ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
