Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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