I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
