i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
