there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
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