please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
