he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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