she takes plan B like it's going out of style
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
