my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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