You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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