Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
