Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
