I just cut my nipple shaving
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Randomize
