whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
