She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
two words...techno handjob
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
