would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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