You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
it hurts more in the daytime
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
