Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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