You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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