Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm at about main and main street
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
