If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
