you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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