He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
