that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
