i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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