apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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