awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
